Why Traditional Social Skills Therapy Isn’t Enough

Social skills therapy has come a long way since I first started nearly two decades ago. I remember when the concept of teaching social skills to neurodivergent students was still emerging. Back then, it was groundbreaking just to have a strategy. I saw Michelle Garcia Winner present in California, and it felt like watching a rock star. Social Thinking was new, and it was one of the first structured ways we had to even begin talking about pragmatic language for kids with autism, ADHD, or trauma backgrounds.

I also leaned into the PEERS method and early work by Carolyn Bowen with social stories. But even with those tools, I always felt like something deeper, more motivating, and authentic was missing.

Seeing the Gap Between Skills and Needs

Through years of working in both public and private schools, I noticed that the students ending up in social skills therapy often had deeper emotional or regulatory needs beyond a single diagnosis. Many had complex trauma, whether diagnosed or undiagnosed. Many also didn’t respond well to rule-based scripts or rigid skills training. There was a big gap between mental health support and the work I was doing as a speech-language pathologist. But the kids kept showing up, so I kept listening, growing, and adapting.

Listening to the Neurodivergent Community

I started paying attention to the voices of autistic and neurodivergent adults. I was on WrongPlanet forums in the early days, and now I follow Reddit threads and TikTok accounts where people speak honestly about how social skills training has affected them. Some of what I heard was hard to take in, especially about the pain and acquired anxiety resulting from years of social skills speech therapy. It confronted everything I had been taught, but I needed to hear it. When I knew better, it was on me to do better.

Because so much of what was being done with the best of intentions still created pressure to mask, to hide, and to conform. And that didn’t sit well with me, and gnawed at my soul until I found a better way.

Introducing the Compass Method

That’s when I began to build, out of necessity, what I now call the Compass Method. It’s not just a system or a program to become trained in. It’s a shift in values. It’s about moving from performance to strength in authenticity. From scripts to inner awareness. From pleasing others to knowing yourself, and that is really deep.

And it starts with a deceptively simple tool: the Joy Inventory.

Why Joy Comes First

The Joy Inventory is the first step in the Compass Method. It helps clients of all ages tune into sensory experiences that bring genuine joy.

I don’t care if you’re five or fifty, or wherever you find yourself on the broad neurodivergent spectrum. If you don’t know what brings you joy:

How can you know what matters to you?
How can you make choices that honor your energy and needs?
How in the world can you communicate your boundaries if you’ve never been taught how to feel your "yes" or your "no"?

A Real Example of Real Change

One of my current clients is a thoughtful, neurodivergent young man who constantly takes extra shifts at work, even when it causes him to miss things he enjoys. He told me he feels bad saying no. That’s what the world has taught him: that kindness means sacrifice. But he is burning out and he is missing out.

In our sessions, we are practicing what it feels like to say no. We’re learning how to build a safe community around our time and energy. That’s real social skills therapy. That’s the stuff you find in the Compass Method.

What Makes Compass Different

The Compass Method is:

Rooted in intuition and inner awareness
Designed for anyone, especially for neurodivergent individuals navigating complex social landscapes
Built to honor boundaries, not erase them
Focused on authentic voice and true connection

It’s for therapists and family members who want to do better. It’s for speech therapists like me who know that language is not just about grammar and rote routines. It’s about power. It’s about belonging. And it’s about finding your voice.

Start With the Joy Inventory — Free

So here it is. A free copy of the Joy Inventory. It might seem simple, but I promise you it’s powerful. It’s the beginning of a different kind of social learning. And it’s the first of many free Compass Method resources I’ll be sharing.

Take the time to do it for yourself. Share it with your clients. Give it to your child. Let it become the beginning of your own compass.

Because you deserve to know what lights you up. You deserve to feel safe and strong in your communication. And I’m here to help you get there.

Want to Dive Deeper with Others?

You're also invited to join my private Facebook group where we discuss real-world social communication strategies, share resources, and connect in a community built on support, authenticity, and growth. Whether you're a parent, professional, or neurodivergent adult, we’d love to have you in the conversation.

Join the Group Here and take the next step with us.

Joy Inventory: A New Anchor for Social Skills Therapy